Refuge Farms (www.refugefarms.org)

As I sit here one full week before that big Christmas Day, I will try to tell you about Christmas...at least Christmas from my little corner of this big world.

The song that continues to run through my head is a George Harrison song. In this song, George says:

                   And so this is Christmas
                   Another year gone
                   The near and the dear ones
                   We've only begun
                   And so this is Christmas
                   And what have we done?

In my mind I remember and smile from the love of a good, solid family. The support of friends who care for me the whole year long - not just when the spirit moves them. The energy that comes with a purpose in my life. The peace that comes from giving even when I am feeling dog tired.

Privately, usually on Christmas Eve, I will spend time remembering Christmas as a child. I will remember watching Dad put the lights on the tree we had just cut from the back woods. The tree always had a bald spot. It was always just a bit too tall for our living room. And it was always just a bit too full so it forced you to walk around the tree to get to the kitchen. But that tree would be nailed in to the Christmas Tree stand and Dad would put the lights on and the transformation would begin. No one but Dad put the lights on the tree. That was his job. Except after he passed. Then Donna, my big sister, took over the priviledge.

Once the lights were on, it was the job of us two girls to get all of the bulbs and ornaments arranged just so. And with each ornament we would recall the "who" or "when" or "where" and so this part of the decorating could take quite a bit of time. But always, this ornament hanging created a sense of history. I have roots and they are founded in those ornaments and that family hanging those ornaments together.

Then the tinsel! Oh, the tinsel! We would seperate that aluminimum stuff for hours and hang it just perfectly! Never in half! Oh, heavens, no! Always by one end to get the most dramatic drop and reflection from those big colored lights! And we must hang the tinsel in the "empty" spots of the tree to make that lopsided, too tall, too big, balding pine become just the perfect tree again this year.

Tinsel would be hung all the way up to Christmas Eve. There was always a spot that needed a bit more...always an area to fill in....it was calming and serene to hang the tinsel. We had Christmas music from Tennessee Ernie Ford playing on the Hi-Fi and I was happy. Hot chocolate would be served and maybe, just maybe, Rusty the dog could come in to the kitchen for a bit to share in the celebration!

Christmas Eve was difficult. The presents were arranged so neatly under the tree and my family was traditional in waiting until Christmas morning to open our gifts. So, as a young child, I would fidget on Christmas Eve - right through the worship service and the milktoast Mom would make when we got home...right through the entire night until i just couldn't stand it any longer! Then downstairs I would fly and awake Mom and Dad and scream "Merry Christmas!" at the top of my lungs! It may have only been 3am, but up we got and to the tree we went!

Glory be! There were more presents! I was jumping up and down with that young child excitement and eager to begin. But of course, I must first read the note that Santa had left me. He thanked me for the cookies and milk and told me that yes, I had been a good girl - he had expected nothing less from me. Then he told me to enjoy the gifts he had brought me and to "remember to share, Sandy".

Gift opening was another tradition in my household. Only one person would open a gift at a time. And we would also rotate the distribution of the gifts, so everyone had "equal stage time". Early on, you see, my Mom was teaching me patience....

If Rusty was lucky, he would end up on the kitchen floor again to open his present. Yup, Rusty got a rawhide bone that I had paritially opened so he could smell it and then I would most certainly take a half a roll of film of his opening that package! Poor dog!

Then after the gifts, Mom would fix this fantastic breakfast and most of us would fall asleep on the couch after eating. We would spend the afternoon cleaning up the bits of paper and tape and, of course, saving all of the bows for next year!

Then, when everything was ready, I was charged with going through my presents and selecting those that I would give to others who didn't have a pile of presents like I had. These presents found their way to neighbors, to hospital wards, to children's homes, and sometimes I wasn't sure where they went, but I knew that some other little girl would be thrilled with the present that I had selected for her.

Some years I would select a doll. Other years a warm pair of mittens. But each year I would fill a bag of gifts that I would pass on. Some years I was most resistant - but the bag would be filled.

On Christmas night, Dad would eat his traditional oyster stew and I would cringe just at the sight of it...butter and pepper in that milk with those things floating in it! But I sat right next to him as he savored his meal from a TV tray in the living room. Right next to the tree that now was perfect. Absolutely perfect. No bald spots. No lopsidedness. No excess width. It was always just perfect on Christmas night.

And so this was Christmas.....This is were my foundations were formed. I am blessed to have been raised in such a good and solid family that loved me and taught me to share. What a gift that has proved to be for me in my life's travels!

And so this is Christmas....and I wish for you the same feelings of love from those that love you. I wish you friends that care for you all the year long. And may you know the energy that comes from having and knowing a purpose to your life. But most of all, I wish you peace. True peace. The inner peace that comes only when you can reach outside of yourself and give...give when you are dog tired. And then give a bit more. You'll be amazed at how peaceful your soul will become.

May the true Christmas find you this year,
Sandy and The Herd